And in my hour of darkness, She is standing right infront of me, Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be.

It's been an interesting few weeks since I last posted......

A few parties, a bit of drama, some musical theatre postings, little of this.. little of that. At this moment in time I would like to express my deep deep hatred, oh yes, hatred, of cancer. I hate that I can't do anything about it. I hate that one of my closest friends in the whole world has to be going through so much emotional pain because of it. I hate it. I hate that it was probably(maybe?) the way we live today that made cancer happen. Maybe. Fuck. It gives me so much stress, I can't even handle it. I've lost family to cancer, it runs in my genes, whats to say I don't get it? That isn't my big fear though. My big fear is that someone I love gets it. And they aren't in the curable percentage.

Which brings me to my next bit. Death. I've had alot of it in my life, and this year, the graduate class is up to three dead. I knew two of them. I'm so afraid. I want to graduate with my friends. I want them to always be there. As a child, this was always a guarantee, the naivety was like a blanket that held you in, kept you warm, unknowing. It was blissful. And now? Fuck.

Alot of fucks I could utter this evening, let me tell you. And so I pray again and some more, and maybe this time it will work. This is when it's hard to remain faithful to a Lord i'm not seeing right now. Is it instant gratification I crave? Maybe.

Maybe.