i don't want to be no man's woman

Everything sucks. Still.

Except now I have a date, that I am actually excited about, with someone who is charming and sweet and intelligent and makes me laugh. He's kinda nerdy, on the quieter side before you get to know him. He's a darling, i'm glad I got to know him.

It's difficult to be home though. My mother is great; we get along. But my seventeen year old sister has become intensely self-involved, and all she does is take the car and abuse my mother until she gets what she wants. My fifteen year old sister is just immature; she hasn't changed, and it makes it difficult to relate to her when her thinking is so.... juvenile, I guess.

Call me pretentious, but I find it hard to relate to people who aren't at the same level of intelligence as I am.

The X is a prick. He hasn't called. He should've three days ago. I'm over it.

I'm over this life!

what ravages of spirit, conjured this temptuous hate?

i am home.
for the summer.
also, miserable.

not in love now, not anything now.
cold with disappointment, cold with my own inability to feel.

at least, we have a place to live in september.

even if, in september, everything is different.

i have three dates this week. with three different men. i am hoping this will help my cause.

even though i could give a damn if i saw any of these three again. i will try.

it's time for me to grow up.
and blow away?
i would certainly like to be far, far away from here.